Q&A – How Do You Know If a Guy Really Likes You?


Q: How do I know if a guy really likes me?! I’m a 30 year old professional living in NY. I have no time for games, but I still want to keep it real.

~ Sarah, NY

He Said…

There are a lot of things that guys would rather be doing other than go through all the intricacies of the social prescriptions on dating and finding a match. It is as complicated to us guys as it is to you girls that most guys would find drinking beer in front of the TV playing video games more appealing. So, to quickly answer your question, if a guy is spending time and effort hanging out with you instead of fishing, playing sports, or even staring at the ceiling, then it would be safe to assume that he is interested. Of course, there are guys just out to play games, but I seriously doubt the applicability of that stereotype on most guys. We, too, are looking for serious relationships, and even a player can find his game-changer. Nonetheless, why would that matter? There are lots of sociopaths in the world, but it’s not good advice to lock yourself indoors because of them in the same way there’s not much sense giving up on meeting people just because you are afraid to get hurt or waste your time.

Written by: Rene, a sociologist. He claims that all his life, he’s been surrounded by women, but it only counts his mother, four older sisters, college roommates, and coworkers who all bossed him around while he listens to them talk about their periods and complaints about their husbands and boyfriends. Now that he has a baby girl, he believes he really is cursed to listen to talks about periods his whole life.

She Said…

You’re on the right plane, Honey. Games are for boys and girls. When we hit thirty, we do demand the same amount of seriousness from the opposite sex. Men who are in their thirties also grow tired of the dating game and start to careen their sight towards settling down. They also want what women in their thirties desire: a mature relationship which may lead to a life time of companionship. Most men may not be as straightforward as we want them to be. Their desire for a long lasting relationship may make them cautious, too cautious perhaps in expressing their intentions. If you’re dealing with such a man, the time tested signs of dilating pupils and touchy-ness may not work. Not all men searching for a woman to settle down will go all puppy eyed and touchy. Most of the time, they are the more reserved type, those men who may be charming and thoughtful but who’d tuck you under the friends-only blanket. If you’re dealing with such a man, there are still signs you can look out for to assure yourself that he really likes you. It’s all about time. Does he make time to be with you? Does he cancel out plans if you suddenly drop by in his work place or tell him that you just found yourself near his whereabouts? Does he choose to be with you even if his friends are already waiting for him to watch the Super Bowl? Does he prolong a nightcap with you even if he has to report to work early in the morning? Does he patiently wait for you, turn himself into a wallflower while you wrap up your chatter with your friends or details of your day’s workload? Even male drifters are selfish with their time. Try to notice if a man marks his time according to your availability. If that happens, then in all likelihood, he really, really, likes you. Much luck, Honey!

Written by: Lallie, Lallie is a four-time Palanca awardee, a  playwright, a screenplay writer, a tabloid erotic columnist, and a chicklit novelist.


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1 Comment

  • Very nicely put! As for me, I try to see if my man pays attention not only to me, but what are important to me. According to the book “The Five Love Languages,” people express and understand love in different ways. Love can be expressed through spending quality time (e.g. doing what your partner enjoys doing), through physical touch (kiss, hug, sex), giving words of affirmation (“you look beautiful,” “you are amazing, honey!” “The best! That dish was delicious”), by giving gifts (purses, perfume, chocolates), and through service (giving a massage, cooking his favorite dish, etc.) Knowing my love language will make things easier for him to win my heart and the same is true vice versa. A woman may not appreciate an expensive gift if what she really wants is to spend time with you. So take time to know your partner. Take time to understand, learn and express the language her heart speaks :)

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